Jeremy enjoys dueling in between working as a chemical analyst and campus building manager.

Hilarious Card Names in Yu-Gi-Oh

Years ago, we explored many of Yu-Gi-Oh's most amusing card titles; now, with many new sets released, we're back with dozens of new entries to share a laugh at. One turn, you'll be casting intimidating titans like "Blue-Eyes White Dragon," the next, summoning pipsqueaks such as "Ghost Beef."

Ranging from hilariously useless to surprisingly competitive, these cards prove dueling is ultimately about having fun, bad puns and all—which deserve mention? Here are 30 enjoyably dumb monster names in Yu-Gi-Oh!

1. Anteatereatingant

ATK: 2000
DEF: 500

As the artwork shows, he's an ant who eats anteaters. Weird, but his effect is pretty interesting, requiring you to sacrifice two spells/traps to cast him, but able to destroy a spell or trap each turn, though doing so prevents him from attacking.

2. Bachibachibachi

ATK: 800
DEF: 800

Look, I spent over ten seconds (dedication, I know) trying to google what a bachi is, and I guess it's the Japanese word for bee, "hachi", but with a b(ee). I bope this belps you understand.

3. Battlin' Boxer Rabbit Puncher

ATK: 00
DEF: 00

The Battlin' Boxers already have a cheesy name, but at least most of them aren't assaulting herbivores. Is that something you're proud of? Punching cute little rabbits? Come on, you're making "BOXer" (a literal boxing cardboard box) from our original countdown look sane.

4. Birdface

ATK: 1600
DEF: 1600

Hey, he can't help it. I mean, aren't most winged beast-type monsters birdfaces? Cuz they're birds? Why single this poor sucker out? His effect searches a "Harpie Lady" from your deck when destroyed by battle, showcasing his desire but inability to belong.

5. Box of Friends

ATK: 0
DEF: 0

What is this, Toy Story? Isn't it kind of wrong to imprison animate creatures only to be played with at your whim? And they're gonna get massacred with those pathetic stats, which will in turn summon two normal monsters from your deck. I hope you're happy, you sick duelist.

6. Chow Chow Chan

ATK: 800
DEF: 800

This sounds like the sequel to Yin Yang Yo, and props to anyone old enough to get that joke. Just keep Rabbit Puncher away from this guy.

7. Cupid Dunk

ATK: 1800
DEF: 600

Yes ladies and gentleman, you are in fact witnessing an angel prove his mad hoop skills. But if basketball's not your thing, maybe you'll like "Cupid Volley" and "Cupid Serve" (also real cards) more.

8. D-Boyz

ATK: 100
DEF: 1000

Want more D-Boyz? Use his flip his effect to summon more from your deck, but you'll take 1000 damage for each. But hey, squad goals.

Dance Princess of the Ice Barrier

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9. Dance Princess of the Ice Barrier/Dance Princess of the Nekroz

ATK: 1700/1600
DEF: 900/800

See that girl, watch that scene, diggin' the dancing, uh, princess. Hey, it's especially funny when prominent archetypes like Ice Barrier and Nekroz get silly cards like these. And is it really coincidence that Ice Barrier's ATK is 1700 and Abba's song's character is 17 years old? Conspiracy theory!

10. Danger! Ogopogo!

ATK: 1200
DEF: 3000

Please! Don't! Talk! Like! This! But annoyances aside, Ogopogo has pretty cool art and belongs to the fierce Danger archetype, so he's really not bad at all.

11. Dark Gray

ATK: 800
DEF: 900

Um, Konami, that's a color. How about Hot Pink? Maybe Baby Blue? Either way, you'll probably never see this guy again since he's a bland normal monster with no effects.

12. Dodododwarf Gogogoglove

ATK: 0
DEF: 1800

If this name isn't already silly enough for you, just listen to the archetypes of monsters he supports: Zubaba, Gagaga, Gogogo, and Dododo.

13. Doom Donuts

ATK: 0
DEF: 0

I mean, maybe doom for my diet, but with those bad stats and very situational removal, I think we're safe.

14. Dr. Frankenderp

ATK: 300
DEF: 300

You can use Doofenshmirtz's effect to get another card in hand, but you'll pay 500 life points and skip your next draw phase, so why not just replace him with an actual good card? Derp.

15. Duck Dummy

ATK: 0
DEF: 0

Forget the ducks, look out, rabbit! Someone's trying to punch you!

16. Flelf

ATK: 800
DEF: 1300

Is it just me or does this sound like the elven equivalent of a milf? Like dang, that's an elf you'd like to...fluff? Fling? I dunno.

17. Genetic Woman

ATK: 1700
DEF: 1200

Okay, maybe Yu-Gi-Oh players aren't renowned for their knowledge of women, but aren't all girls (and guys) genetic? I mean, this lady is some mutant hybrid, but it's still a hilarious title to toss around the dinner table. "Pass the butter, genetic woman!"

18. Ghost Beef

ATK: 2000
DEF: 1000

Not only does this card have hilarious art and naming, isn't it kind of disturbing when you think about it? We're looking at a spectral cow eating beef, so...a dead cannibal cow? Yikes. Wait, looks like she's eating herself. Eww!

19. Ghostrick Socuteboss

ATK: 1400
DEF: 1200

Like, omg. Totally so cute, on top of the bad pun that is the Ghostrick archetype. But this xyz monster can actually be pretty effective, using her effect to destroy opposing monsters and block enemy monster zones from being used.

20. Great Long Nose

ATK: 1900
DEF: 1700

Maybe it's genetic. You know, like women are.

Interplanetarypurplythorny Dragon

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21. Interplanetarypurplythorny Dragon

ATK: 2200
DEF: 1100

I agree, this card is absolutely ridiculous. Now, "Interplanetarypurplythorny Beast", there's a card we can be proud of.

22. Junk Defender

ATK: 500
DEF: 1800

Ah, the spiritual successor to last countdown's "Garbage Lord", Junk Defender will throw hands for his trash. Uh, you can keep it, buddy.

23. Nefarious Archfiend Eater of Nefariousness

ATK: 1500
DEF: 200

But...if you eat nefariousness...and you are nefarious...no wonder this guy is an archfiend. Even though he's beast-type. But his effect relies on spellcasters? Seriously, what a weird card.

24. Papa-Corn

ATK: 1200
DEF: 800

Get it, popcorn? Except he's also a dad? Ha ha. But seriously, Yu-Gi-Oh has a surprising amount of corn-based cards, including "Performapal Corn", "Datacorn", and "Sweet Corn". Someone patent Colonel Corn before they get it.

25. Prank-Kids Dropsies

ATK: 1000
DEF: 1000

I know it's referring to water droplets, but please don't show off your kid's "dropsies", even as a prank.

26. Santa Claws

ATK: 1200
DEF: 2500

Well, alongside Ghost Beef, here's more nightmare fuel for Christmas. Creepy or not, he's actually pretty interesting; you can play him to your opponent's field by tributing one monster they control, taking out a big threat and giving you an extra draw at the end of your turn.

27. Sanwitch

ATK: 2100
DEF: 1800

I think someone at Konami headquarters mistook the request "please make me a sandwitch" and this is the result.

28. Spy-C-Spy

ATK: 1200
DEF: 1300

He's the most interesting man alive, either gaining ATK or life points depending on what card he randomly reveals from your opponent's extra deck.

29. Swift Birdman Joe

ATK: 2300
DEF: 1400

I mean, I guess it's a better name than Birdface. Joe can also clear the field with an effect mimicking "Giant Trunade" when tribute summoned using a wind monster, returning all spells and traps to their respective hands.

30. Toadally Awesome

ATK: 2200
DEF: 0

Two bad puns in one, but this card is surprisingly competitive, able to special summon "Frog" monsters from your deck, detach materials to negate opposing cards, and recycle a water monster when sent to your graveyard.

Amusing Spells and Traps in Yu-Gi-Oh

Today's list proves it's not all magicians and dragons in dueling, with the game balancing its "serious" monsters with these goofs, always good for a mid-game laugh. For more naming shenanigans, we'll soon tackle other hilarious monster names plus spells and traps, but for now, vote for your favorite and I'll see you at our next Yu-Gi-Oh review!

© 2020 Jeremy Gill