Jeremy hopes the Force is with him as he pursues a forensics career in the swamps of Louisiana.
Sith Names in Star Wars
Unlike Jedi, Sith harness the dark side of the Force, using malicious power for selfish purposes. Thanks to Darth Bane's "Rule of Two," only two Sith are supposed to exist at once, reducing in-fighting and letting them slip through the galaxy undetected.
Being a Sith has more perks than a red lightsaber and stylish black robes—newly christened Sith pick a new name to define themselves, or receive one from their master. Most are appropriately menacing (Darth Sidious, Maul, Ruin, etc.), but some wouldn't intimidate an Ewok. Don't believe me? Here are ten hilarious Sith names throughout Star Wars!
10. Darth Bandon
In most Sith titles, you can easily detect the "scary" origin word the name derived from. Plagueis comes from plague, Tyrannus stems from tyrant, and Maul comes from, uh, maul. A few oddballs have different origins, like how Darth Vader is allegedly a play on "dark father", but still work.
But then you've got Darth Bandon running around, and all I can think of are band-aids, marching bands, and guys named Brandon. Look Brandon, as much as Star Wars likes dismemberment, you can't just chop one letter off your name and call it a day.
9. Darth Caba
Darth Cabbage Patch over here was such a loser that he/she was originally meant to appear in MMO game Star Wars: The Old Republic, but got cut once developers realized he'd only be good at hailing taxis.
He's still canon though, having a brief mention in the Book of Sith: Secrets from the Dark Side.
8. Darth Luft
Credit where it's due, Darth Luft looks scary, essentially a Twi'lek Darth Maul, but can you really take his name seriously? You'll find him in some of the Legacy comics (which take place in the legends timeline several decades after Return of the Jedi), where he's a member of the One Sith.
Darth Luft falls in combat after only a few appearances, but better to have luft and lost then to have never luft at all.
7. Darth Zash
Zash, Zash, hundred-yard dash has no excuse when it comes to her moniker—her birth name was Zash and she squandered the perfect opportunity to change it. What's the point of turning dark if you can't shed your silly name?
To be fair, I guess it's somewhat close to "gash", but when your Sith name could pass as one of the Bratz dolls, you're in trouble.
6. Darth Drear
Okay, Drear = dreary, and sure, Sith are kinda dreary since they, you know, kill people. But think about the work dreary: it doesn't mean "menacing" or "ferocious" so much as "dull" and "depressing".
Darth Drear is probably the Sith name Eeyore would pick (and honestly, with Kingdom Hearts around, that's not impossible). So be a dear, Drear, and find something with more fear.
5. Darth Iratus
Maybe this guy won't blow up a starship, but gosh darn it ya might get slightly inconvenienced by the wacky hijinks of Darth Iratus. Seriously, dude sounds like he administers paper cuts more than galaxy-threatening schemes.
So Darth Nihilius drains planets, Darth Sidious overthrows the Jedi, and Darth Iratus probably resets the Order's wifi password to "JediDrool_SithRule".
4. Darth Fastus
Only mentioned in The Old Republic, Darth Fastus apparently devotes more training to track than the dark side, Maybe you should have followed a career in Podracing, big guy. What's next, Darth Strongus? Smartus? MostAwesomeus?
3. Darth Shattra
Just when you thought Star Wars was relatively family friendly. Just say this one out loud and you'll see how it reeks.
As if the name isn't bad enough, the only thing we know about Shattra is that he/she was killed by a Mandalorian (seriously, it's like the shortest wiki entry ever). Mandos are tough, sure, but when the one thing you're remembered for is losing to a Muggle non-Force user, someone's dropped a major deuce on your name.
2. Darth Howl
Darth How-I-might-your-mother sounds like Sirius Black teasing Lupin when he transforms, but you probably didn't know it's a clever abbreviation for "how low can I go?". Darth Roar and Screech would approve.
1. Darth Millenial
Okay, master. If you want me to sport a name traditionally used as an insult for sensitive people born after the Boomers and Generation X, I'll roll with it. Heck, we should call me Darth Millienial Falcon, I'm sure no one's taken that yet.
It's a shame too, as Millenial is arguably today's most interesting character, abandoning the Rule of Two to found the Dark Force philosophy (which later forms the Prophets of the Dark Side).
Silly Jedi Names
Sure, light-siders like Yarael Poof and Fi-Ek Sirch have silly titles, but they were born with them—Sith have little excuse. After all, Sheev Palpatine wisely adopted "Darth Sidious"—imagine if he'd stuck with Darth Sheev.
To be fair, many of today's entries were throwaway characters who probably didn't have much thought devoted to them, but for now, as we await more hilariously-dubbed dark-siders, vote for your favorite flop and I'll see you at our next Star Wars countdown!
© 2019 Jeremy Gill
Jeremy Gill (author) from Louisiana on January 07, 2020:
Thanks for the link, I'll be sure to check out that trilogy! On a side note, I always thought it was interesting that Luke readied his blaster (and not lightsaber) as he traveled through Cloud City trying to rescue his friends, only igniting the blade once Vader arrived.
Terence McQuillan on January 07, 2020:
Regarding Zash Force-stealing her youthful look... if I knew that ahead of time, then no, she'd not be someone I'd want to say "hi" to in a cantina. And if I found that out after meeting her, I'd be discreetly looking for an exit strategy ASAP.
Looks aren't everything, but the kind of personality that would do that? I'll pass, not make a pass.
Re "a Sith (or Jedi) who actually prefers blasters to lightsabers", the Coruscant Nights trilogy (set shortly after "Revenge of the Sith") features a Grey Paladin as one of the main characters.
The Paladins aren't completely against lightsabers, but don't depend on them the way Jedi and Sith do, and are quite happy to use blasters and military tactics.
Jeremy Gill (author) from Louisiana on December 30, 2019:
That got me thinking, it'd be pretty cool to see a Sith (or Jedi) who actually prefers blasters to lightsabers. Maybe it's been done somewhere, but not to my knowledge.
Does it turn you off that she Force-stole her youthful appearance from an innocent host? Her original form was marred by the dark side, kind of looks like a female Palpatine.
I see what you did there : )
Tim Truzy from U.S.A. on December 27, 2019:
Jeremy, very funny, and true. I wonder if Darth Fastest wondered if he could have just changed the name a bit, he would at least have the name of the sheriff's deputy from "gun Smoke." Congrats on reaching 1000 articles, and this week end is my catch up reading days for your articles on Magic." Thanks again. Peace be with you.
Terence McQuillan on December 27, 2019:
Honestly, Zash actually looks quite nice... apart from the Force Lightning bit. That bit MIGHT turn me off buying her a drink and having a chat.
(p.s. I know it's fiction, but if I was teleported into the universe of Star Wars...)
Noel Penaflor from California on December 26, 2019:
Darth Bandon should abandon his name and change to something more intimidating.